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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27613736">evergreen; something unsaid</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/evaneddie/pseuds/evaneddie'>evaneddie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>dhylen writes one shots [65]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>15x20 spoilers from sneak peek, M/M, angst with happy ending, character death but only temporary, not much but still, post 15x18, talks about vampire killings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:49:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,748</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27613736</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/evaneddie/pseuds/evaneddie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>set post 15x18 but pre 15x20<br/>dean watches as castiel gets consumed by the empty, and it fucks him up in more ways than one.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>dhylen writes one shots [65]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1433956</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>evergreen; something unsaid</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>it's kind of a bit meta for 15x18 &amp; 15x19 but hopes for 15x20? if that makes sense.</p><p>look, i have been with this show since it aired here on tv. i was six when i saw mary burning on the ceiling, and that is not something you forget. this show has been with me for most of my life, and the ending is gonna kill me i just know it.<br/>this is based around three songs i have had on repeat since 15x18. in order; unsaid - ruel; something to lose - dylyn; evergreen - marco.</p><p>i hope you enjoy!</p><p>anyways, go check out my destiel playlist if you want:<br/>https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3KpMgUecdil4FZIQjJ0yWo?si=qVh725X8Sua2GfYTEE56qg</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>well i don't know where to start, 'cause now there's nothing left to say. you put your hand on my heart, and then you push me away.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>The moment his surroundings become vacant, he loses all composure, gasping lightly at the events that have just unfolded before his weary eyes, trying oh-so-desperately to hold back his sobs, just for a moment so he can process things. Things like the last words his best friend spoke to him, things like the deal said best friend made with The Empty, the fact that Castiel had once again sacrificed his life for Dean and their weird little family. The pain in Cas' eyes bore into Dean's memory, the tears and the pain, but also the pure peace on his face. Dean will never be able to unsee it. He will never be able to un-feel the tight hand over the scarred flesh on his arm pushing him to the side, out of the way. Even through his sleeves, he can feel how much that touch ignites a small fire in the pit of his gut, screaming to be let out, longing to be touched more, longer, and kinder.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p><em>then you tell me everything is fine, but you don't have anywhere to hide. look me in the eyes</em>.</p>
</blockquote><p>Before the black goo had consumed Cas, as he was giving his long winded speech - to which Dean could barely form a coherent full sentence in response - he'd acted like everything was going to be okay, as if Dean could live a life without him, as if he would be happy. Nothing makes him feel the way Cas does. When those three words had floated the air between them, Dean felt an array of emotions hitting him all at once. Usually, he does. He feels so deeply, so heartily, and he shows it however he can. Sometimes with gifts, or little gestures, but rarely with his words. It's not the first time Cas has told Dean that he loves him, he's said it before on the brink of death, to not just him, but to Sam, Mary, and Jack, too. Though the others weren't with them in the room this time, how can Dean be so sure that it was meant only for him? He can't. Even with every other word Cas had been saying, about how Dean is the reason Cas loves the world the way he does, that he's the reason for so many things Cas has done and felt over the last twelve years. No matter how much Dean wants it to have been meant in a non-platonic way, he can't be sure that's how it was said.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>'cause i'm asking you; how we gonna act like nothing's wrong? can see that you've been crying but you never want to talk about it.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>For as long as he can remember, Dean has repressed his feelings, because one way or another, the things he wants, the things he loves, always manage to find a way to leave him. Sammy is the only thing that has stuck by his side, the only thing he has loved that is still here today. But Cas? Cas tried, and he tried, and tried again to stay, coming back eventually every time they were separated. This is different. This is for good.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>all these words left unsaid, hanging over my head.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>It takes a moment after Cas has disappeared for it to register with Dean. <em>I love you.</em> It wasn't meant the way he wants, right? There was so much more to say, on both of their parts. Dean wishes he'd gotten a grip sooner, wishes that he can decipher what the shit Castiel meant. He could have said it back, but no, of course not. His brain had to go and be dumb, short circuiting because his best friend was about to be put into an eternal slumber.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>how you gonna hear me through the door? can't you see i'm trying? but you always find a way around it.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Cas lets his tears spill as he tells Dean how much he means to him. Soon, it would all be over, for good, and Cas would be gone. Dean's confusion is the first thing Castiel notes in his head as he talks, then the pain swimming in the green of his irises, and the tears pooling at his bottom lids. When Cas makes it to The Empty, Dean won't be able to hear him, won't be able to pray to him, or communicate in any other way. Wishing there was any other way, Cas breathes deeply, smiling sadly, wetly at a horrified Dean on the ground against the far wall. Telling Dean that he loves him, that's his true happiness. He thought maybe it would be something more, like actually having Dean in a way that the hunter probably wouldn't want, but just telling Dean how amazing he is, is enough.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p><em>i don't know how it ends, never been through this before. and when it all disappears, it's like the shadow's all around you.</em> </p>
</blockquote><p>Heavy is the feeling on his heart, slowly constricting the muscle, begging him to scream louder, to be heard from a mile away. The anguish is all he can feel. He knows, in due time, he will move on from the absolute agony, into a sad anger. Punching things, shooting targets, drinking, all of it will be his sweet release. But for now, he chooses to lean his had back on the brick wall for a moment, before moving his legs and leaning forward on them. Sam calls, more than once, probably something important. Just can't seem to give two shits right now. Not yet. In a moment. Then, he lets it all out. The hot salty tears slip from his eyes and slowly streak down his face, grouping at his chin a few times before dropping to his lap somewhere. Wash, rinse, repeat. Soft sobs fill the otherwise silent air around him, and he's grateful nobody is here to see him like this. He has always been the strong one, other people's rock. This is not that. Cas has died before, and he's hated every single time. But he can feel in his soul that there's something more final about this time. Where is he supposed to go from here?</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>and i know you wanna see the light, but you don't open up enough to find. we're out of time.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Dean. Always trying to find a way around things, to make sure his friends and family are safe. Constantly trying to find the light in a bad situation, the worst of the worst. Like now. He pleads with Cas to not go, to not leave him, needing some sort of illumination of a good idea being above his head. But nothing comes. It's too close now, he can't stay forever. If he does, Dean will die, and so will everybody else on the planet. But Dean, most importantly; Dean. Dean can't die. He deserves a long life, he deserves a fighting chance to defeat Chuck and re-write his own ending. The only way to do that, is for Cas to leave. For real, this time. Not to come back. The pounding on the door from Billie will haunt him the rest of his eternal sleep. The outright sheer reverberation of the hits mimic his thoughts, his breathing, only those are at least ten times faster. He wants to say more, wants to say that it's not just a platonic love he has for Dean, but he thinks what he says may get the point across well enough. He hopes Dean isn't too oblivious to understand - because he really can be sometimes. It's pretty obvious though, with how he's describing everything he feels because of Dean. He wants to say more, but there's no time left. The Empty takes him, ingurgitates his entire being, grace and all.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>ooh, i just couldn't read you, now it's hanging over my head. and now that i can't see you, it's just hanging over my head.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Dean had always played it close the the vest when it came to his feelings about a certain angel. Now, if things were different, and Cas was still here, Dean isn't too sure if he would continue to hide it. He wants Cass in every way he can have him, but of course only if he wants that too. It doesn't matter now, however. Because he's gone.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>hurt like hell but i made it out. had enough, i've stopped blaming everybody else.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>For losing the man he loves, Dean can't really blame anyone else but himself. If Dean hadn't pissed off Death, if he had just been more careful, maybe Cas would still be here. Why would that idiot sacrifice his own life for Dean? Dean isn't worthy of that kind of love, not like Cas was saying. He's felt this kind of pain before, losing Sam, his brother. Even when he lost both of his parents. Jack too. It's the same kind of dull ache, like a hole has been ripped jaggedly through his midsection, damaging his heart and lungs on the way through. As expected, however, this feels on a slightly different level. Not that his love for Cas is more than his love for others. But it's different, it's not the same. More intense, maybe? No, that's not right. More sacred? Heck, he doesn't have the slightest clue. Why hadn't he said anything beforehand? He'd waited so long, and now it's too late.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>left trails of broken things, tryna get away from the broken me.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Sam worries about Dean the days after Cas' death. Death. He hates that word now. Well, he pretty much always did, but there's something more horrifying about it now, now that everything has changed. When Jack leaves the brother in the middle of the street, Sam looks to his older brother and his heart breaks for him. Himself, too, but for Dean mostly. Eileen emails him the moment she can, and the boys head off to her place to reunite with her. It's like everyone is getting their life back together, and Dean just keeps losing pieces of his. Dean doesn't talk much about what happened that day, but Sam knows it must have been hard, and that there's more to the story than he's being told. But it's not his place to push. Dean will speak when he's ready, if that will happen. They go on hunt after hunt, after hunt. Day after day, barely having a break. Dean clearly needs to keep his hands and his mind busy, and Sam doesn't want to complain. But he's had enough.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>we could be everything if i don't fuck it up.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Dean prays to Cas every day for the next week, even though he has no idea if his words can be heard from where Cas is. They probably can't. There's gotta be some sort of warding up, protecting The Empty so that it and its inhabitants can sleep. So, he doesn't think about it. He just keeps praying, something that if you asked him to do twelve years ago, he would have rolled his eyes and scoffed. Two and three times a day he tries to get through to Cas, asking him to find a way back home, back to him. He doesn't say everything he wants to, though. It'll just turn into a big balls up like every other time he has wanted something so badly. He'll just fuck it up like everything else in his life.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>oh i'm scared, this time i really care. 'cause i'm a better me when i'm with you, suddenly i got something to lose.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Still, now, he berates himself for not saying it back to Cas. Hey, it didn't even have to be those same three words. He could have said anything. Anything at all for Cass to know that he wasn't alone, that Dean felt - feels the same way. <em>You changed me, Dean.</em> All he had to say was, <em>you changed me, too.</em> But he didn't, he couldn't. All he had to say was, <em>I feel the same.</em> Or a soft <em>you mean everything to me.</em> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>i'm just so scared, i don't wanna tear us apart. 'cause i like how i feel when i'm with you, suddenly i got something, got something to lose.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>When Cas had let the empty take him, he'd felt happy. Happy that he finally got to tell Dean that he loves him, that Dean is the most beautiful human he's ever had the opportunity and honour of knowing. Inside him, mixed in with all that contentedness, was sorrow and regret. Sad that Dean looked so torn up, regret that he hadn't said something sooner. Misery over leaving Dean, again, and remorse because there's just not enough time to show Dean how he feels and make him believe how amazing he is.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>hope i won't come crashing down, these doubts, i need your voice to drown 'em out.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Like every other day, Dean calls out to Cas in the empty of the angel's room. It used to be that he would pray in his own room, the comfort of his own bed, his own furniture. Going into Cas' room that one time, just to feel closer to him, has been sucking him back in every time since. He wonders if maybe it's Cas' way of telling Dean that he's still here and to not give up on him just yet. It's not even been two weeks yet, and Dean is so far past gone that he can't even see the entrance to his demise anymore. Imagining the gravelly voice isn't the same as actually hearing it, the scar on his arm not the same as having the actual hand there. It's the best that can happen, for now, though. After Sam had made Dean give up on hunting for a while, Dean spends hours on end each day going through as much research as he can, desperately pursing a way to get his best friend back. Best friend sounds kind of redundant now, doesn't it? It's more. It's always been more. He was just too stupid to see it.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>i wonder what you feel like, i wonder why it feels so bad.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>What he wouldn't give to touch him one more time. Even just one more hug, one more arm grab, one more anything. The anger settles in more now. Yeah, he's still upset, of course he is, but at this point in time he's furious. Furious that Cas left him, that he had to die in order to save Dean and the rest of the world. Angry that he never got the chance to tell Cas how he feels, even though he fears more than anything that Cas would reject him. It's not that he believes angels can't feels things, he knows they can, obviously. But an angel feeling love for a human? Unheard of in real life. Then again, the real life he'd expected growing up didn't include stripping the terrible god of his powers and letting his Nephilim son consume them. Anything is possible. But not this. Not having Cas in a deep way. Even now, two weeks after that horrible day, he wonders what Cas would feel like in the ways he hadn't yet gotten to touch him. Wonders how Cas would respond to his kiss, if his lips would be feather-soft or if they would be rougher, chapped from the weather and shit they have gone through over the years. Dean wonders how Cas' hand would feel entwined with his. Their hands have been grasped in one another's before, but not in a gesture other than pain and support. Dean wants it in a way that shows Cas how highly Dean thinks of him, wants it in a way that's romantic - or whatever.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>'cause every time i see you leaving, i'm scared that you'll never come back. now i'm having trouble breathing while i listen to your broken heart. wasting time on the deceiving, i've been here from the start.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>The Empty has swallowed him whole, leaving not a single ounce of him behind, and has been taunting him every waking moment. He isn't awake often, as The Empty tries to keep him asleep, but he always fights it, much to its disdain. On the daily, he fights against it, hoping that just maybe he can annoy it into letting him go again. Each time he tries, there's a bruising pain in his lungs, like his ribs are being snapped one by one. It's painful, but not nearly as painful as everything he's already gone through. Nowhere near as excruciating as leaving his little family behind on Earth, leaving Dean. The Empty constricts his breathing every time he pisses it off, annoys it. But the moment it lets go, he feels back to normal, if any of this can be considered normal. Some days, The Empty changes its face to look like Dean, tells Cas how worthless he is, how no human in their right mind could love an angel like him. But Cas knows Dean, knows he would never say anything remotely like that, and so it doesn't work. He ignores it with each attempt. Even if Dean doesn't feel the same way about him, he knows words like these would never spill from Dean's mouth, not towards Cas. What he wouldn't give to be back there right now. The Empty tries again, and for the first time since it started two weeks ago, Castiel bites back, tells it that this will never work and that he encourages The Empty to continue, because in his heart, he knows Dean Winchester, and nothing said by anyone or anything could ever change that. The blackness around him screams in frustration, in exasperation. Everything around Cas shakes violently, so much so that he doesn't know how none of the others alongside him - that he can't quite see - haven't awoken, startled. It breaks, the forcefield inside the dark breaks, he can feel the shift in the air. Not knowing or even caring how, he hears Dean's voice in his head, talking to him as if he were there by his side.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>you're a rose but you're tangled up in thorns, you've bled on each and every one. turned frail, and weak, lost colour from your cheeks. you're a lotus waiting for your leaves, drifting too far in between.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>If there's one thing that he knows, it's how to love. One person taught him that. Well, a few people did; Dean, Sam, hell even Mary when she was there for a brief moment. Everyone else, too. But Dean. Dean was the most important thing in his life. Still is, but it's not technically a life now, so does it count? How Dean managed to break through and communicate with his, Cas has no idea. The worst thing about it all, is that like always, this communication is a one way street. There's nothing Cas can do to show Dean he can hear him asking to come home, can hear him saying how much he wishes things were different. Too nervous to speak, Cas doesn't bother asking The Empty if it can hear Dean's voice. It wouldn't matter even if it could. Maybe it would make things worse here. He can't let on that he hears Dean, not unless The Empty speaks of it first. The only thing playing back in his head is the moment he left Dean, getting Death sucked in with him. He remembers how Dean denied the tears until the last possible moment, he recalls the crack in Dean's voice saying his name, asking him to not do what they both knew he had no intentions on halting. </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>baby do you feel like i'm something that you're looking for? you've got a tunnel vision, leave me as you've done before.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Eventually, Dean tells Sam what happened before The Empty took Cas. He lists off every moment in agonising detail, right down to how he felt about it all, how confused and hurt he was and has been ever since. Not shocked in the slightest, Sam nods along to Dean's story, not offering much to say until his brother asks what he thinks Cas meant by it all. Are you serious? How can one man be so oblivious. And he says that, Sam does, out loud to Dean. Calls him blind to how Castiel has treated him over the years, how the love was so obvious that anyone could see it. How he knows Dean feels the same. Gripping tightly on the steering wheel, Dean's knuckles turn a yellow-white shade, and he takes a deep breath before finally admitting out loud to someone other than himself that he loves Cas.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>if i told you 'bout my feelings, it would be my worst mistake. don't wanna see you leaving, so here's my heart to break.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Why didn't he just say it back? Dean knows he's going to regret that for the rest of his pitiful life. Giving up on the walls he'd put around his heart long ago took longer than expected, and now that they're finally down, it's too late. Cas isn't here, and Dean waited too long. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to pray to Cas again, and tell him everything. He doesn't want to do it over angel radio, but he figures there's no other way. It's not like he can wait until Cas comes back. Because that isn't happening. So, that night, he sits in Castiel's room, and he closes his eyes. The dark the envelopes him as he prays is a comforting warmth, as if it were blanketing him in a soft embrace. Praying, he tells Cas how sorry he is about everything, how he loves him, and how Sam seems to think that's how Cas meant it too. Dean still isn't sure, but he can't be heard so it doesn't matter all that much.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>we've been here before, and we're still to blame. sink into the floor, I don't wanna play this game.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>The Empty knows, it hears Dean's every breath, and pulls up what it looks like as he talks tearfully to a Cas that isn't there. It feels like he is, like he's right there, so close yet so far, but he can't respond, he can't touch Dean, h can't do anything but watch as he cries. <em>I love you, too, idiot</em>, Dean mutters, his voice hitching more than once. This. This right here is more happiness than Cas could have ever imagined. Not only does he love Dean with his entire being, but Dean loves him back. That is what Cas believes to be a miracle. He's died before, and he's come back. Surely he can do it again somehow. He must. Images of Dean on the floor, watching as Cas got taken away, burns into his retinas, and he wants nothing more than to be by Dean's side.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>your blossom, melts me.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Screeching and wailing comes from within The Empty, the terrorising yells tell Cas that this hurts, that having a soul inside it hurts. Cas doesn't know how he didn't think of it before. Removing his grace? Becoming what is essentially a human, and breaking out on sheer will. Perfect plan. Only, he doesn't know how he has a soul. When did that happen? Knowing what he knows now, about Dean, about Earth, he assumes it started to grow the moment he and his human love became close. Maybe even from when he pulled him from Hell. Blinding lights and sharp noises erupt all over the place, and Cas is visually impaired for a moment, until a harsh thud hits him in his torso, hurting his spine and now he's struggling to breathe. Is this what being winded feels like? By the time he comes to, there are others standing around him, wearing masks to cover their faces, hiding behind them. Weapons in hands, they all stand menacingly. Gathering himself, he reaches for the nearest thing he can find, a rusty steel bar, and gets ready to fight. Why can't he catch a break? Standing, Cas gets into fighting stance, something Dean taught him a while back. He doesn't even know if this weapon will hold them off, let alone kill them if he needs it to. It'd be much easier to use cosmic powers, but he's fresh out, and isn't very combat ready.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>my love for you is evergreen.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>In the nick of time, Sam and Dean show up, machetes at the ready, and Cas stops for a moment, drinks in the image of the brothers before him. While both of them are taken aback, they don't waste another second before going after the four masked figures. The three of them work well together against whatever these monsters are, Dean behedding the first one, Cas making one stumble as it rushes towards him, hitting it in the temple with the metal bar he has. As if on cue, Dean pulls another blade from the ground and tosses it to Cas wordlessly. Effortlessly, he catches it, successfully swiping it through flesh and bone.</p><p>"Vampires," is all Dean says.</p><p>Sam hits another, cutting it a little to close, before there's only one left. It's not as easy to do all of this as a human. He's had respect for how well Dean and Sam have carried themselves on hunts over the years, but this just makes it stand out more. </p><p>Dean kills the last one, a few metres to Cas' right, and then looks Cas dead in the eyes, confusion written all over his features. </p><p>Behind him somewhere, Sam asks a question, breaking the tense silence. "How did you get back here man? You were dead. Like, really dead."</p><p>Cas nods, "I was. It's a long story." He doesn't want to turn away from Dean's gaze, he wants to keep holding it, the green eyes looking into his soul. But he turns, he looks to Sam, gives a small smile, and gives a quick hug, before letting go.</p><p>"Cas?" queries Dean, as if it isn't the most obvious thing in the world.</p><p>"Hello, Dean."</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>my love for you is evergreen.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>They're standing apart, a good two-three metres betwixt. Cas is there, looking into Dean's eyes, a soft smile on his face, one mirroring the one he wore while laying his heart out for Dean to see.</p><p>Breathing rapidly, Dean doesn't even know where to begin. "Did you mean it?" he asks, brokenly, not expecting the answer he craves. "What you said to me, did you mean it?"</p><p>Balling his hands into the side pockets of his trenchcoat, Cas inhales lightly, not a hitch in his voice, because he is so sure of how he feels that his anxieties are nonexistent. "Every single word, Dean."</p><p>Dean says nothing for a moment, letting the reality sink in just a little while. "I'd really like to kiss you right now."</p><p>Smiling even wider, Cas nods, a silent yes.</p><p>All but running forward, Dean takes a few bounds, crossing the gap between them, suddenly crashing his lips into Cas'. It's unlike anything he's felt before. All the love and comfort he feels for Cas floods over him. He feels content.</p><p>Softer than Dean anticipated, Cas' lips move slowly across his, and they both fit together almost perfectly, as if - cheesily - they were meant to be all along.</p><p>Sam clears his throat after barely a moment before mumbling something about leaving them alone.</p><p>"How did you get out?" Dean places his forehead against Cas' and drops the knife to the dirt floor, cupping his cheeks in his hands.</p><p>"You. Your voice broke through, and it helped. I removed my grace, let the empty explode because it can't digest souls - oh, yeah, I apparently have a soul now so there's that," Cas' anxieties dissipate as he talks. He's so sure of everything now.</p><p>"You're human? You did that to come back to us, to me?"</p><p>"Pretty much. I'd rather spend a short life with you than the rest of eternity on my own, Dean. I love you." Cas closes his eyes again, revelling in all the emotions they share.</p><p>"I love you," Dean replies, before leaning in again, harshly kissing Cas like their lives depend on it. Maybe things would be okay after all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>not gonna lie, this was way longer than i anticipated, and i don't like how i ended it but it's soft so 💁</p></blockquote></div></div>
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